The guidebook says "there's an extremely remote chance that your bus will be hijacked and your valuables looted." That's on the very remote road from a city near Tikal, Guatemala to the Belizian border to the east. Fortunately we were traveling in a contraption no one would dare guess contained anything worth robbing.

Imagine a van similar in size to the old VW Bus, and probably about as old. Now imagine twenty-one people jammed into it. And I thought they were gonna jam in one or two more. This "mini-bus" as they call them leaves every half hour or whenever they wedge enough people into the van. I have problems in coach class airline seats, being almost six-and-a-half feet tall. This was not a comfortable experience. About 20 miles from the border, the pavement runs out and you go bouncing over potholed dirt road at fairly high speed for the next forty minutes.

"Do not, under any circumstances, stick your cash out the window."
I haven't many travel tips these days, but I can offer this one. If guys waving wads of Belizian dollars approach your van while it's fueling up near the border... do not, under any circumstances, stick your cash out the window. I think I lost five dollars changing the Guatemalan equivalent of about $35 US. Before I could object, our bus was speeding away. Yet another unfortunate experience to write off to experience.

The contrasts at the border are stark. On the Guatemalan side, there's a run-down cinder block building for immigration. Guatemala doesn't bother with customs, it seems. Walk a few hundred yards to the Belizian side and you find a large, new, brightly lit facility housing immigration desks and customs inspectors. Belize isn't a rich country by any means, but it seems the British influence is still here thirty years after they went home.

"I kept throwing Spanish at immigration agents."
Hearing English again was strange. I've only been outside the U.S. for a month or so, but I was so used to speaking my miserable Spanish when dealing with anyone other than other travelers. I kept throwing Spanish at immigration agents, shopkeepers and our hotel proprietor. He's another story I'll come to shortly. To add to the confusion, most people here seem to speak both English and Spanish. Therefore, when I start in with Spanish they start speaking it back to me. At that point it becomes necessary to explain the error and beg them to speak English.

Now the hotel owner who I've dubbed "Nigel." He's definitely British and I imagine he's from like Manchester or something. Ever see movies about the middle class in industrial British cities? That's this guy. Sauntering about in his wife-beater tank top. His hotel is quite clean and a good value, but hearing him explain the rules of the house is quite interesting and a bit overwhelming upon arrival. Some rules include the following:

• No hanging of clothes on room lights, windows or furniture.
  
• No washing of clothes or shoes in sinks or showers.
  
• When leaving, do not allow screen door to slam.
  
• When locking your door, use a special technique to minimize noise.
  
• No smoking in rooms.
  
• Check out time is 10am. Guests will be awakened at 9:30.
  
• No guests in the hotel.
  

"Should further action become necessary."
And now I'm sick again. It appears it's something I ate and should be better soon. I felt lethargic and a little achy this morning and had some intestinal issues I won't go into yet. (Although I don't rule out at some point describing in explicit detail my bathroom adventures.) Again, I was briefly concerned I had Malaria... but the symptoms don't quite match up and seem to be fading now anyway. I stand ready, however, to visit the local hospital or medical clinic should further action become necessary.

I'd planned on heading on the the Cayes off the Belizian coast, but the weather just isn't cooperating very well so I'll likely head back to Guatemala and south once I'm feeling better. If you're expecting email from me, it could be a few days. I'm running short on Belizian dollars and internet time. I'll get back eventually.